As the summer winds down, many children feel anxious about going back to school. Whether it’s a new grade, a different school, or just the shift from the freedom of summer, back-to-school anxiety is common. This can be particularly hard for kids who tend to experience high levels of anxiety. As a parent, it can be tough to see your child struggling. But with the right strategies, you can help them manage their worries.
Understanding Back-to-School Anxiety
Understanding Back-to-School AnxietyWhy Do Children Become Anxious About Going Back to School?
Children can feel anxiety about returning to school for various reasons:
- A new school year can bring new teachers, new classmates, or sometimes even a whole new school. As humans, we are wired to fear the unknown and seek solace in the familiar. It is completely natural for anxiety to spike as the school year approaches.
- Academic Pressure: Each new school year brings a new set of academic challenges. Some students feel a great deal of pressure to perform. Others may worry about struggling in particular subjects or with particular learning difficulties.
- Social Concerns: Navigating the social landscape of school can be hard. Kids get nervous about making new friends and fitting in with old friends. This can be particularly intense if the previous year was difficult socially.
- Separation Anxiety: Younger children, especially, may feel nervous about being away from home. However, older children can experience separation anxiety, too. For example, a scary health situation in a loved one can trigger fears about a parent’s health and stability.
- Change in Routine: Transitioning from a relaxed summer schedule to a structured school day can be challenging. This can be particularly difficult for children who rely on familiarity and routine for emotion regulation.
Recognizing Back-to-School Anxiety
It’s important to recognize the signs of anxiety in your child. Here are some indicators:
- Physical Symptoms: These can include headaches, stomachaches, or random aches and pains. A classic but often overlooked sign of anxiety is trouble sleeping.
- Behavioral Changes: Anxiety in kids can show up as clinginess with parents and withdrawal from friends. Alternatively, crankiness, meltdowns, and oppositionality can be signs that your child is struggling with big feelings they can’t put into words. This is equally true for little ones and teenagers. Finally, increased withdrawal into activities that self-soothe, like social media scrolling, video games, and napping may be a way to distract from the anxiety.
- Avoidance: Avoidance is a classic hallmark of anxiety. Reluctance to talk about school or attend school-related activities may be a sign that the upcoming transition back to school is overwhelming.
- Excessive Worry: Kids who are experiencing high levels of back-to-school anxiety may ask repeated questions or express ongoing concerns about school. They may constantly be checking in on when school begins and if they have what they need. You may feel like you are frequently providing the same reassurance but it’s not helping.
Now that we’ve covered why children might feel anxious and how to recognize it, let’s dive into some practical tips for supporting your child.
Supporting Your Child With Back-to-School Anxiety
Tip 1: Open the Lines of Communication
Encourage Open Dialogue
Create a safe space for your child to express their feelings. Ask open-ended questions like:
- How do you feel about going back to school?
- What are you looking forward to most about going back to school?
- Is there anything you aren’t looking forward to?
Listen without interrupting or immediately offering solutions. Sometimes, just feeling heard can make a big difference.
Share Your Own Experiences
Sharing your own childhood experiences can help your child feel understood. For instance, you might say, “I remember feeling nervous about making new friends, too.” Or, “I remember not being in the same class as my best friend. I was really disappointed.” The idea is to stay with the feeling. This shows them that their feelings are normal and manageable. This is not the time for solutions or how it all turned out fine.
Tip 2: Establish a Routine
Gradually Shift Bedtime
A week or two before school starts, gradually shift bedtime earlier. This helps your child adjust to the new schedule without a sudden shock. Ensure they get plenty of sleep, as being well-rested can reduce anxiety. Teens will really push back on this but they absolutely need sleep to support good mental health.
Practice the Morning Routine
Go through the morning routine a few times before school starts. This includes waking up, getting dressed, eating breakfast, and packing their bag. Familiarity with the routine can ease morning jitters. Remember the unfamiliar can exacerbate anxiety.
Tip 3: Visit the School Together
Take a Tour
Especially if your child is starting a new school, visit the school before the first day. Many schools have an orientation for new students before school starts. However, if your child is experiencing a high level of anxiety, reach out to the school and see if your child can stop by the school before the orientation. Get your pediatrician or therapist to write a letter of support if you worry about pushback from the school. This will give your child a chance to walk through the hallways, find their classroom, and meet their teacher. Familiarity with the school environment can reduce fear of the unknown.
Play at the School Playground
If your child is younger, spending time at the school playground can make the environment feel more friendly and familiar. It’s a fun way to reduce anxiety through play.
Tip 4: Encourage Social Connections
Arrange Playdates
If possible, arrange playdates with classmates before school starts. Having a familiar face on the first day can make a big difference. This can give new life to friendships that have stagnated over the summer. Social connections can provide comfort and reduce feelings of isolation.
Role-Play Social Scenarios
Practice common social situations with your child. For example, you can role-play introducing themselves to new classmates or asking to join a game at recess. This helps build confidence and reduces social anxiety.
Tip 5: Teach Relaxation Techniques
Calm Breathing Exercises
Teach your child simple calm breathing exercises. For example, have them breathe in for four seconds as though they were smelling flowers. For effect, have something aromatic nearby like lotion. Have them hold for four seconds, and then breathe out for four seconds. On the exhale have them pretend they are calmly blowing out a candle. Make this practice a part of home life. The more they can see you implementing simple calming techniques, the more likely they are to give them a try when needed. Indeed, this can help them calm down in stressful situations.
Visualization
There are 2 great strategies for using visualization to calm back-to-school anxiety. First, encourage your child to visualize a calm and happy place. This can be a favorite spot at home, a beautiful beach, or anywhere they feel safe and relaxed. Have them share their visualization in as much detail as possible, considering all five senses. What does their calm place look like, sound like, smell like, and feel like? Even consider if there are any tastes that go with their calm space. Not all people can visualize. So it is ok to spend time drawing the place instead. You can even just talk it out like a story, if that feels better to your child. Visualization can be a powerful tool for reducing anxiety.
Second, find some quiet time to have your child visualize how they would like the first day to go. You can have them imagine they are watching a movie. Tell them to see the opening credits. They can even give the movie a name. Let them begin the movie with them getting ready. Have them go through how they would like their first day to unfold. If they run into any obstacle, you can talk them through it together. Visualizations can be really helpful in reducing fears of the unknown.
Tip 6: Stay Positive and Encouraging
Focus on the Positives
Help your child focus on the positive aspects of going back to school. Talk about seeing friends, learning new things, or participating in fun activities. Don’t invalidate their fears. However, focusing on areas you know are positive experiences for your child will ultimately help them. A positive outlook can shift their focus from anxiety to excitement.
Celebrate Small Wins
Celebrate small victories, like completing the first day or making a new friend. Highlight past experiences where your child has conquered fears and accomplished goals. Perhaps they were nervous at the beginning of the last school year. Remind them of their past successes and that they have actually already shown the ability to navigate a new school year. Positive reinforcement can boost their confidence and motivation. Acknowledge their bravery and effort, and celebrate these moments together.
Tip 7: Seek Professional Help if Needed
When to Seek Help For Back-to-School Anxiety
If your child’s anxiety seems overwhelming or persistent, it might be time to seek professional help. Child therapists and teen counselors can help your child navigate new situations and develop ways to reduce anxiety. Signs to look for include significant changes in behavior, physical symptoms that don’t improve, or extreme avoidance of school.
Finding the Right Support for Back-to-School Anxiety
Look for therapists with specialized training in working with children or adolescents. They should be knowledgeable in anxiety treatment. Summertime is a great time to begin therapy. Without the pressure of school, youth can learn to manage their anxiety and prepare for a great beginning to the school year.
Supporting your child through back-to-school anxiety requires patience, understanding, and a proactive approach. By recognizing their feelings, establishing routines, and using practical strategies, you can help your child feel more confident and less anxious. Remember, your support and encouragement are key to empowering your child to face their fears and embrace the new school year with confidence. Together, you can turn back-to-school anxiety into an opportunity for growth and resilience.
Start Child Counseling in Branchburg, NJ
Our team of therapists can offer support in helping your child overcome back-to-school anxiety and prep you with the tools to support them as well! We are happy to offer support from our NJ-based practice. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
- Contact Brave Minds Psychological Services for a free consultation
- Meet with a caring therapist
- Start overcoming back-to-school anxiety!
Other Services Offered by Brave Minds Psychological Services
Child counseling isn’t the only service offered at Brave Minds Psychological Services. Other services offered include child sexual abuse therapy and food allergy therapy. For teens, we provide anxiety treatment for teens, and teen social phobia therapy. We also specialize in adult anxiety counseling, postpartum counseling, birth trauma therapy, and sexual assault counseling for adults. Other offerings include online therapy, group therapy, couples counseling, and counseling for parents.
Furthermore, we also have a blog where we write about multiple mental health subjects. If you’re interested in learning more about us here at Brave Minds Psychological Services, please reach out at our Scotch Plains and Branchburg counseling offices!